Self-Care Vs Self-Indulgence

Unless we want to become a nuisance, it’s a no-brainer that intentional self-care is necessary.

We all practice basic forms of self-care, like taking a shower, brushing our teeth, and wearing fresh, clean clothes.

Some of us have the luxury of planning vacations, getting spa treatments, booking counseling or therapy sessions, etc. But, these activities don’t equate to indulging random impulses or desires solely for the promise of pleasure and “feel-good” hormones.

In this article, we’re unpacking the difference between intentional care and self-indulgent behaviour. Let's get straight to business, shall we?

What is Self-Care?

As the name implies, it involves caring for yourself. You want to feel your best to function optimally and fulfill your responsibilities to those around you, including your work colleagues, family, and close relationships. Self-care activities aim to satisfy your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs.

Self-care is why you'll book a counseling session or call a friend and pour out your heart when you feel emotionally drained. It's why you'll attend small group meetings in church because it has a way of lifting your spirit.

If you can afford a fancy vacation, you'd probably take a trip at least once a year for some deep rest and non-work related activities.

Anyhoo, you understand the whole idea of self-care by now. They’re routine or occasional practices that keep your mind, emotions, and body in their healthiest possible state.

What is Self-Indulgence?

Humans have all sorts of cravings and desires if we're being honest. Sometimes, these wants are gratifying in the moment or seem like no big deal. But, they could get problematic in the long term potentially leading to toxic habits.

Self-indulgence means catering to impulsive desires primarily for immediate gratification or pleasure regardless of potential negative consequences in the future.

“I feel like getting the 4th bowl of ice cream today? No problem! I want to watch movies or play video games 24/7 even if I’m supposed to engage in some productive work. Who cares?”

Self-Care Vs Self-Indulgence

How can we differentiate between self-care and self-indulgence? Here are a few things to consider:

*1 Passive/Active

Are your decisions passive or active? Planning a vacation, booking a counseling session, or reading a book involves active planning and decision-making since these actions require a conscious mind.

Self-indulgence is usually a passive and instant decision that doesn't weigh the overall consequence of an action. It simply responds to an impulse or desire without deep thought or conscious deliberation.

*2 Intention

Are you caring for your mind, body, and emotions to feel healthy? Or, you simply want to feel good or enjoy some quick pleasure.

I should say this, “feeling good” isn't a wrong thing. But, if that's your primary motivation for activities, it's easier to get into some vices, if you know what I mean. I know you know what I mean so moving on…

*3 Consequences

What is the final result or consequence of your action? Does it leave you with a refreshing feeling or make you wrestle with guilt?

Do you feel like you’re in control of your actions or do you feel stuck in a cycle you feel powerless to break?

Self-indulgence doesn’t prepare you to show up optimally, but it’s to satisfy any craving or desire you get whatever the cost. Have you looked up the meaning of the word? No? Alright, go look it up.

How to know when you're being self-indulgent

Spontaneity

If you habitually perform spontaneous or sudden actions with little to no plans beforehand specifically for pleasure's sake, then you may be self-indulgent.

Yes, emergencies and opportunities arise that need immediate attention, but they’re usually not a daily or weekly occurrence and most importantly, they’re probably not pleasure-motivated.

Feelings of discontentment

How do you feel after giving in to an impulse? Refreshed or empty? Self-indulgent behaviour often leads to feelings of discontentment or emptiness.

Instant gratification is exactly what it means. It feels great in the moment but fades off afterward. And, depending on the action, you could struggle with shame, guilt, and self-hatred.

Having little to no control

Do you feel like you have little to no control when certain impulses come up? That’s a sign that you’ve given in too much to self-indulgent desires.

Selfishness

Although self-care is about you, its intentional nature makes you consider your obligations to those around you when making your plans. If you’re only thinking about yourself and how you’ll feel great without the slightest consideration of those in your life, has your “self-care” not become selfish?

What kind of activities are self-indulgent?

I know you know them, but I’ll list a few examples for you:

• Gluttony or unhealthy eating habits
• Promiscuous sexual behaviour
• Impulse buying
• Perpetual procrastination
• Prolonged laziness/distractions (from movies, social media, or games)
• Anything that feels good in the moment, but doesn’t foster a healthy lifestyle in the long run.

Finally, Beloved Reader

A cup of ice cream here and a movie night there doesn’t equate to self-indulgent behaviour. If you’re intentional about your time (for the most part), you’ll also create room for healthy fun, relaxation, and bonding. However, giving in to every desire or feeling simply because it’s pleasurable in the moment isn’t how you’d want to run your life (I’m guessing).