Is Peer Pressure Beneficial Or Harmful?

If you grew up with African (Nigerian) parents like me or just a similar family setting, then you were probably warned not to keep bad friends and join them in negative behaviours.

Mostly, parents were concerned about immodest dressing, sexual activities, substance abuse, and low performance in academic activities. Our parents are aware that our peers may encourage us to experiment with certain undesirable behaviours, so they warn us in advance, so even when we encounter such, we are well aware that it’s wrong. So, we’ll be discussing peer pressure in this article. Is peer pressure beneficial or harmful? Let’s dive in.

What Is Peer Pressure?

Since peer refers to people within a similar group or age range, and pressure is a push or nudge to do something, peer pressure is the influence or push from peers to engage in behaviours or activities that one may not normally participate in.

We all want to be accepted socially to a large extent. And for young people trying to discover their personalities and paths in life, gaining social acceptance is top of their list, and they are willing to go the extra mile to score those points.

Peer Pressure Examples

Peer pressure can be direct or indirect, spoken or unspoken. Let’s say you have a group of friends who smoke tobacco. When you hang out with them, someone can offer you some to smoke, and assuming you’re the only one who isn’t “joining in the fun”, you may feel pressured to oblige the generous offer. This is direct and spoken.

On the flip side, you may have friends who engage in fraudulent activities to get money, they didn’t ask you to join them in these acts, they know you’re kinda moral. But you see them spending lavishly and getting things so easily, while you have to save up and work hard to get a quarter of what they have.

You may be tempted to approach them yourself and ask them to put you on. This is indirect pressure. Just by association, you’re pressured to engage in fraudulent activities to make money.

Is Peer Pressure Always Negative?

Pressure sounds like it’s a negative word, but that isn’t always the case. When I was in secondary school, I had friends who made me love and study mathematics. They’d come to class, solving math questions and challenging themselves. I didn’t want to mess up, so I made sure to study myself. I especially loved word problems, and those are my favorite kind of math questions till today. Of course, I had the motivation to want to pass my exams. But, being in a friend group with people who asked questions and shared what they learnt made me challenge myself to do more.

However, we can be pressured to do good things that aren’t for us. The decisions themselves may be right, but they’re not the best for us. For instance, a student joining the science class to be with their friends when they’re not science enthusiasts. Or, choosing a career path simply because most of your friends seem to be doing it, even down to relocating to a country and choosing a partner. These personal decisions require your research, prayers, and convictions to make the final call.

Peer pressure isn’t always negative, but I’d say it’s more of a driver towards social acceptance than it is for personal fulfilment and wholeness.

Peer Pressure In Adulthood

Peer pressure is often a common topic in adolescents and teenagers, but young and mature adults deal with direct or indirect pressure from their peers. Although research shows that the effect of peer pressure is lower in older adults than in younger ones.

When you’re done with university or college, and you’re trying to find your footing in life, there’s a lot of societal and peer pressure. There’s the pressure to be successful, look great, get married, have kids, and so on. This pressure may propel someone to make wrong decisions, all because they want to fit seamlessly into society.

Ways To Handle Peer Pressure

How do you handle peer pressure so you don’t constantly make decisions just to be accepted by your peers? Here are a few things you can consider:

Select the right company

As much as possible, you owe it to yourself to choose the right friends. Choose people with similar values and good character - people who will respect your boundary and won’t feel intimidated when you disagree on a particular approach or behaviour (also be that kind of friend).

Set healthy boundaries

Create healthy boundaries for yourself. Like the example with the tobacco earlier, you can kindly let your friend know that you don’t smoke and would appreciate it if they didn’t offer you tobacco subsequently.

Let your friends know what boundaries are important to you. If you don’t clearly communicate your boundaries, you leave the lines blurred. I understand that not everyone may respect a boundary you put up, but if it’s something important to you, you may need to create a distance between you and the person who intentionally disregards your boundaries.

Request for time and space

When you’re asked to do something on the spot and you’re feeling pressured to say yes, but aren’t quite sure what to do, request some time and space.

Use the time and space to weigh your options and consider whether the decision is something worth your while. A simple “Can I get back to you on this tomorrow?” or “Give me some time to think about this” can take the on-the-spot pressure off your shoulders.

Consider your motives

Why are you making that decision? Is it just because you want to be liked? Think about your driving motivation for participating in a behaviour or activity. Are you going into debt to purchase a bag or shoe solely because everyone seems to be getting it? Then, you may need to reconsider that decision.

Offer alternatives

If you want to hang out with your friends, but you don’t approve of certain places or activities, try suggesting alternatives. “Can we do this or that instead?” Instead of cutting off completely, you can find a way to maintain your boundaries and still interact with your friends. And, who knows? You may be the good influence they need.

Define your values and beliefs

Define your values and beliefs for yourself. Know the kind of activities you want to engage in and those you don’t. If you’re unsure, people can easily sway and put you under pressure, but if you’ve drawn out the lines by yourself, you know where you don’t want to cross.

It’s also okay to change your mind on things. If you used to engage in certain behaviours, and on close evaluation, you realize that they aren’t purposeful, you can redefine your behaviour and create new, healthy boundaries.

Finally, Beloved Reader

We’ve all been in situations where it seems like not doing something will make us stick out like a sore thumb. But, as we grow older, we have to define for ourselves what’s right and purposeful beyond social acceptance. I hope these tips above will help with that. Cheers to healthy boundaries and decisions. That’ll be all here. Do check out similar articles here.