How Do I Handle Rejection?

The man or woman of your dreams couldn’t care less about your existence. The job opportunity you swore was tailor-made for you was actually cut to fit someone else as you later came to find out. You didn’t meet the requirements of the course you wanted to study. Maybe you invested so much in friendships only to realize they don’t love and accept you as you’d like. If you’ve ever asked yourself “how do I handle rejection?” That’s what we’ll be talking about in this piece.

Why Rejection Stings

Why does rejection hurt so much? No matter how much we try to cope, the truth is that it does sting a bit when something or someone we desire isn’t drawn to us as much (or at all).

Rejection feels like a form of betrayal, especially with humans. We put our best foot forward hoping to get a reciprocation of our efforts but, we’re sometimes hit with disappointment.

The feeling of rejection sells us a narrative that we’re not good enough for who or what we want. “Some other person is a better fit, but not me”.

Have you ever gotten those blanket rejection offers for a job or role you applied for “....unfortunately, we won't be able to move forward with the conversation, we’re going for someone who’s more aligned with our goals…”

Or maybe you just confessed your heartfelt feelings to someone you love and they respond with “...I like you just as a friend…”

Apart from an intentional stab in the back, few things hurt more than not being seen as good enough for what or who you desire. So, yes, it hurts. But, how do we go about handling rejection?

You’re valuable, period.

Rejection attempts and sometimes succeeds at taking away from our sense of value. But, the truth is that we’re all valuable, period. We were created in the image of God and each of us embodies a unique expression of that image.

Our self-worth or sense of value shouldn’t come from external validation as that can change and fluctuate like the sea waves. It should be an in-built regulator that reminds us of our innate worth. We can create value because we were born with the ability to do so. Therefore, we are valuable.

Yes, you may not have reached your ideal physical expression of value, but dwelling in you is the capacity to evolve into that person. So, you’re valuable, period. Believe that.

Consider your shortcomings

Maybe you truly don’t satisfy the requirements of the person, position, or thing that you’re seeking. Have you considered that? Maybe your behaviour makes it difficult for your friends and family to accept you.

Yes, undeserved favour is a real thing but sometimes, the rejection is duly deserved.

Hold yourself accountable. Think about the changes you can make to improve your relationships, career, finances, skills, and whatever is applicable. Maybe the person you are now just doesn’t fit right with the reality you desire. But, you can always work on that.

Be humble

You know I said you’re valuable, period. Guess what? Not everybody will look at you and think that you are. Or, at the very least, they may not believe that you’re valuable to them. You need some humility to accept that reality without letting it chip away at your self-worth. I saw this interesting quote on the internet while I was reading up on this topic -

“You could be the sweetest peach on the tree, but there will be people who don’t like peaches.”

Some people just don’t appreciate you. Well, that’s on them. Not you.

Accept the mystery

They seemed to like you, so what happened? You met all the requirements for the job and the interviewer seemed to be fond of you, so what went wrong?

You won’t always be able to pinpoint exactly why you got rejected, especially when you’re convinced you’ve ticked every box imaginable. You may never know why, make peace with that.

You’re not God, you don’t have all the answers. It’s okay not to know. Don’t keep yourself stuck in the loop of trying to find out why.

Move forward

After experiencing the hurt of rejection, what next? Move forward! Don’t remain stuck in the “what could have beens”. Think of what to do next.

You may need to seek support and be vulnerable with your close friends, family, or spiritual leaders about how the rejection has affected you. That’s okay. But, don’t cower and hide, keep putting yourself out there for those who need you to find you.

I mean, not everyone who sees this article’s link will read it, but here you are almost at the end. So, because of people like you who pay attention, I’ll keep showing up here.

Keep improving yourself and showing up with your unique value and you’ll attract those who’ll accept what you have to offer.

Finally, Beloved Reader

You’re not alone in your struggle with rejection. Even the people (celebrities, leaders, star athletes) you look up to experience some form of rejection. Humans will always have preferences. Even Jesus was rejected by the same people he came to save.

Come on now. Some people rejected you? That’s okay. Keep moving until you find those who are for you, and you will.

You’re valuable, period. Never forget that.

Alright, that’s all for this piece. Feel free to check out other articles here.