Surviving each day and leading a life you’re mostly content with require some mental and emotional gymnastics. Whether you’re a big dreamer or you desire a simple lifestlye, a little worry and anxiety is part of the inevitable human experience.

For young adults who are building their identity and making decisions that will determine the trajectory of their lives, feeling anxious can feel overwhelming. However, it doesn’t matter what stage of life you’re at, It’s normal to feel some level of anxiety in certain situations. In this article, we’ll define anxiety, some tips to manage it and provide an answer to the question “Will anxiety ever go away?”.

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is an emotional and physical response to a stressful situation or a possible danger. People feel anxious in varying scenarios while going about their daily life. You may feel anxious during a job interview or when your best friend suddenly ghosts you without an explanation.

Daily life pressures and uncertainty cause most people to feel anxious at one point or another. The feeling of anxiety expresses itself with symptoms such as restlessness, loss of appetite, shaky voice or body, warm stomach and increase in heart rate.

Possible causes of anxiety

We can experience anxiety from varying situations or scenarios. It could be a mild trigger or an intense concern. Some possible causes of anxiety include:

Phobia/dislikes

Do you have a strong dislike for something or someone? Maybe you dislike insects, rodents, exams, public speaking or people who have the habit of yelling. People get anxious when they think there’s a possibility they will encounter a situation they fear or just don’t like. I’m sure it doesn’t qualify as a phobia, but I get anxious when I think there’s a possibility I will encounter an embarrassing moment in public. I generally avoid such scenarios, but when I can’t, it’s really awkward.

Relationships

Certain relationships can be mentally straining and cause you to feel anxious. Relationships in this context covers any form of human connection. If you have a friend who’s super competitive, a boss who complains about the slightest mistake or parents who constantly remind you of their perfect plans for your life, they may trigger your feelings of anxiety.

Human relationships can’t be completely stress-free as we’re all imperfect and ignorant in some ways so ending things isn’t always a fix (of course, some situations require a “goodbye forever” or a significant distance). In the case of having parents trying to impose their decisons on you as an adult or a competitive friend, you may need to firmly explain your personal preference, plans or boundaries. Who knows? They may take the hint and go easy on you.

Pressure

“So, where do you see yourself in five years?” Oh the pressure! Both internal and external pressure can make you conjure up unsettling scenarios in your mind to stress you beyond your reality. Maybe you wish to upscale your earnings or improve your grades within a specific period. I recall feeling anxious about my grades in school, they did get better each year though. It wasn’t satisfactory enough for me, so each session brought a subtle, fresh anxiety especially after GPA calculations. “Will I be able get as more A’s than last time?”

External sources like family expectations is also a source of anxiety for many. You can feel anxious from not wanting to disappoint your family or considering how they will react to a decision you know they won’t understand.

Social media

Social media is a great anxiety for many especially Gen Zs. Online, we see a lot of people living their best lives, making ridiculous money and looking stunning on every post. You may look at yourself and think, I haven’t achieved anything or I don’t look good enough or think you’re unlucky for not making thousands of dollars like that social media influencer. If you’re active on social media, try asking yourself if your social media posts reflect the efforts, pains and processes you go through to achieve the results you feel most proud of today. What’s your answer?

Jordan Peterson said in one of his interviews (which I stumbled upon on YouTube shorts), I’m paraphrasing here ‘People have hard lives and even those who are comparatively fortunate have hard lives, so the perception you form of others is largely a construct of your imagination.’ Oh, and let’s not forget the significant amount of pretence or ‘fake life’ social media perpetuates.

New experiences

New experiences can be uncomfortable for people. Travelling to a new place, meeting new people, starting a job or addressing an audience may trigger feelings of anxiety. This kind of anxiety is usually short lived and you may feel more at ease when you become familiar with a place, situation or person. Sometimes, I feel anxious when I’m meeting new people but after thirty seconds of conversation, I realise I was all worked up for nothing.

Will anxiety ever go away?

The straightforward answer to the above question is no. Anxiety most likely won’t vanish into thin air and cease to exist for the rest of one’s existence. It’s a feeling we experience and manage as humans and unavoidably so. As you learn to manage one anxiety trigger, new concerns often pop up in your head and reality. For example, at the age of 10, your main cause for worry is getting good grades and making your parents happy.

Then, at twenty something, you may worry about graduating from university with a good grade, being financially independent after school, and building a romantic relationship. When you’re 35, new priorities like caring for a family, including elderly parents and societal obligations may cause you some level of stress.These examples are fairly common, but we can’t discuss all the possible anxiety triggers. Building healthy coping mechanisms and finding solutions to our obvious issues I believe is a a way to manage anxiety.

How to manage every day anxiety triggers

Anxiety to me is like that annoying sibling we have to live with and somehow find ways to get along with for the most part. Here are some ways you can manage anxiety and make it seem just like a fading background noise:

Engage in self-talk

Most times, anxiety comes as a myriad of possible occurrences, doubts or fears that aren’t really logical. For instance, before starting to build my blog and create content, I went through phases of being anxious about a variety of things rather than just starting and learning with the process. I thought of questions like “what am I going to write about, would people find my posts interesting, what if i get tired and decide to stop, isn’t it better not to start at all”.

After the whole mind drama, self evaluation and listening to some advice (online and offline), I realised it was something I wanted to try and rather than ‘what if’, I went into the ‘how to mode’ and it’s been a pretty fun experience so far. Sometimes, analyse your thoughts and weigh the actual authenticity. Are you being logical or simply entertaining negative voices sprouting like weed in your head? Making a conscious effort to guide your thought process may reveal that ermmm you’re veering off into unreasonable fears.

Effect solutions

Sometimes, you may be anxious about a situation, goal or relationship that you have some control over. A simple action like implementing better study strategies, confronting someone about something you don’t like or learning ways to improve your income can limit your anxiety. Rather than worrying, you’re being proactive and doing something about your concerns.

Imagine this; James and Jacob are feeling unsatisfied and anxious about their financial situation. James learns that there are certain high income skills that may improve his earnings. He watches YouTube videos and reads articles about these skills and decides he wants to be a software developer.

He dedicates 6 months to intensely learning software development from online courses while working part-time to make some cash. After gaining a level of mastery, he works on a few personal projects to build a portfolio and begins to seek employment as a software developer. Jacob decides to learn software development too because he sees James doing that. After one month, he says it’s too hard. Rather than finding some other route he may enjoy, he remains complacent but still worries about being able to earn more money. Who’s going to improve and feel confident about solving future problems?

Take deep breaths

This is a simple way to relax and relieve stress. Taking deep breaths seems pretty straightforward, right? Well, it is. You can practise this technique anywhere by itself or alongside other calming elements like music and nice scents (aromatherapy). For starters, find a spot where you can sit comfortably for a few minutes. Sit with your back straight and place one hand on your abdomen. Take slow, deep breaths. Inhale as deeply as you can through your nose and exhale with your mouth, then repeat. You should feel your abdomen rise when you inhale and fall when you exhale.

“Deep breathing counters the effect of stress by slowing the heart rate and lowering the blood pressure” Psychologist Judith Tutin, PhD.

Say prayers & affirmations

You might find this technique appealing if religion or spirituality is significant to you. You can say a short prayer or relevant phrase to yourself (almost inaudibly). As a Christian, praying is improtant to me. I also get some affirmations from scripture which helps me combat worry and remain hopeful.

Have a good laugh

It’s true that not everything is within our control. Sometimes, all you need to relax and feel relieved is a good laugh. Watching your favourite comedy series, scrolling through memes on your phone or reading comic books can lighten up your mood. Having a good laugh can take your mind off worries and improve your mood.

Connect with loved ones

Don’t alienate yourself from others when you feel anxious, reach out to loved ones. It could be a spouse, sibling, parent or friend. Sharing your experiences with those who care about you can be relieving. If you’re unable to talk physically, a simple phone call should suffice. It can be really calming and encouraging to hear the reassuring voice of a loved one during stressful times. Don’t isolate yourself, okay? You are not alone.

Anxiety disorder

Anxiety is a feeling we experience as humans and sometimes, it propels us to be proactive and take meaningful steps towards a desirable outcome. However, it can grow into a disorder and affect one’s quality of life and wellbeing. If your anxiety prevents you from performing normal activities for prolonged periods, please seek professional expertise to determine whether you’re suffering from an anxiety disorder.

Parting words

I hope you make conscious efforts to manage everyday anxiety triggers and thrive in your daily life despite any challenges. What makes you feel the most anxious and how do you manage it?